Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
Lesson Learned: I poured bleach on the asshole that cut me off at the self-checkout. According to the cop, I misunderstood asshole bleaching.
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...