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Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.