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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
You`d think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
Velcro is a ripoff
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
Why can`t Miss Piggy count to 100? Cuz` when she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat!
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn`t understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.