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If I had a time machine, I’d probably just use it so I wouldn’t have to throw out so many bananas.
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
If you grew up wanting to be a Plumber or a Pizza delivery boy, You watched too much porn as a kid.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.