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It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone’s battery.
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
Im going to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people`s cars saying "sorry for the damage." Then watching the magic.
Is there another word for synonym?
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
I`m not sure who`s more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
The cop at your front door is never a stripper when you want them to be.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna` be a great day.