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The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
I never make plans until I know how I am getting out of them.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
All alcohol will make my clothes fall off… tequila just makes that happen in public.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
never tell a lie...unless it is true
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.