Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
My superpower is making people laugh ... Which would be great if I was trying to be funny
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don`t do it.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.