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"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
I thought I`d try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I`m still incredibly stubborn.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist