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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Is a roasted peanut like a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts?
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
Showed my daughter an MRE. The package said "Peelable Seal". She said I`m not eating no seal.
The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
It`s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.