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Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
Hey Guys, I don’t have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
It`s not that I`m judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.