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The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Patient: "The problem is that obesity runs in my family." Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
Remember if you ask me to put sun lotion on your back, I am definitely drawing something dirty while I`m back there.
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
I never finish anyth...............
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.