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Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Beware of the deodorants with instructions that ask you to "remove the top and push up bottom"... they could at least make them round.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."