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No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
I never thought Iād be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.