Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
The only time I use the word “selfie” is when I am describing my sex life.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.