Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
I`ll bet Amish people look forward to Thanksgiving since it`s the only time their clothes look festive.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally