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That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."