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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
In space they just call it "Jam"
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.