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" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.