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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
Find someone you`re good at.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
Best thing to do when you`re stuck in a group text is to to throw your phone in the street and start a new life and maybe get some chipotle
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
I donΒ΄t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.