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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
Guy tip of the day: To avoid arguments about the toilet seat, use the sink...
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"