Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My wife said she wanted to feel special. So I gave her a helmet and some crayons. Perhaps I misunderstood her?
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can`t help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .