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Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.
Fun fact: Deciding where to eat is the leading cause of divorce
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.
when i die i want to be thrown out of an airplane with a superman costume
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!