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My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
2 out of 3 isn`t bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
Whoever said you can’t “like” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.