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Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
The best things in life require no pants.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: `last warning, you have a week to get the money together.`
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.