Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never know whats going on in your life until you’re f*cked up.
I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
Karaoke bars combine two of the world’s great evils: People who shouldn’t drink and people who shouldn’t sing.
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
I’m giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
If I didn`t drink, then how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.
You lost your phone and it`s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should`ve put a ring on it.