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Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
you know what sucks about being a "chubby guy"....when your girlfriend wants to play with YOUR boobs :)
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Dwjxdjdhjfrjfjhrha! Sorry--you will get a more coherent status update AFTER I`ve had my coffee!
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time...
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"