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Silence is Golden, except when coming from children… Then you’d better go check to see what’s broken.
I`m getting all dressed up. Have a feeling I might be on COPS tonight.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.