Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)