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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
I`m "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don`t trust my farts anymore" years old.
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...