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Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call……
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded.
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.