Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Guy tip of the day: To avoid arguments about the toilet seat, use the sink...
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine`s Day she’s getting a magazine rack
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job there.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I KNOW HOW TO HIDE A DEAD BODY
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor