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I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot” ...you`re wasting everybody’s time.
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they`re already pissed off.
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.
Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you need medicine.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.