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real eyes realize real lies
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
Does this status update make me look fat?
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
I Googled, “Who gives a sh!t?” and I was not in the search results.
My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep..Apparently "I know" was not the right answer...
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.
morning i hate girls evening i need girls