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Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there`s more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.