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The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
I say the things better left unsaid.
My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.