Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
It`s so cold outside I had to put Jack in my Coke to keep it from freezing.
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
My whole life is based on a true story...
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.