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What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Gym Update: Not there.
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
I Don’t answer text messages right when I get them so I don’t seem desperate. Then, I forget about them and never respond.
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.