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I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.