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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it`s okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!