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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.