Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.