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No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.