Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?