Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The reason Rump Roast is called Rump Roast is because nobody would eat it if it was called Cow A$$
Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.