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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around
If your dog takes a dump on your floor and you clean it up, who owns who??
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
You`d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their butt in the mirror they would be able to parallel park.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
My bed is half full - Lonely optimist.
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it