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I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
I was all depressed last night, so I called "Lifeline". Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don`t treat every burrito with the utmost respect
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b