Daily Silly Status

Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?

If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.

I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.

We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me

If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.

Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!

I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

there is no strong beer, only weak men

At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?

I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.

I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.

The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.

If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.

Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.