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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I`m the a$$hole for tripping him?
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
Let me drink about it and get back to you.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
justin bieber
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
If someone says β€œyou’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!