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I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.