Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
A woman at my gym has a jellyfish tattoo on her arm ... So I peed on her
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
For once in my life, I’d like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
I`m not real excited that the wrapping on my toilet paper said `100% Recycled`.