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Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
Please do not read this.
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
When I think of all the money Iโ€™ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. Iยดm upgrading to the tugboat!
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
I just saved a lot of money in child support by switching to condoms!
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
I`m not real excited that the wrapping on my toilet paper said `100% Recycled`.
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem