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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn’t even know I was driving.
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.