Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I`m not even married.
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC